My mother always used to say: "The older you get, the better you get, unless you're a banana."

Blanche: Well, just tell him you have a lot of work at home.
Rose: I don't want to lie.
Blanche: When you get home, we'll make you clean out the garage.
Rose: Oh thanks, I owe you big for this one.

Rose: It's a word.
Dorothy: So is "interuterine," but it doesn't belong in a song!
Rose (at the piano): Miami, you're cuter than...an interuterine."

Sophia: "WHO?"
Rose: "A Hungarian artist we've all been posing nude for."
Sophia: "In the future, a simple 'none of your busienss Sophia' will suffice!"

Dorothy: "Girls who'll take their money DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE THINKS WE ARE?!"

Rose: "WAITRESSES?!"

Rose: Tomorrow I'll be out there all alone, starring at my relatives who'll be ready to hoot and snicker at the first crack in my voice. They'll think im an idiot.

Sophia: Please, it's family.... more

Rose: "What are you reading Blanche?"

Blanche: "Oh, I'm checking on the weather in the Bahamas. It's gonna be in the upper 80's with a nice gentle breeze. So with that outdoor... more

Like the old saying, you can lead a herring to water but you have to walk really fast or it will die.

Miles Webber: I'm a college professor, Rose. What did you think when I said I taught Hemingway?

Rose: I thought you were old.

Rose: I don't think lying is really a good idea. I once cut school and that proved very bad.

Dorothy: Oh, Rose. We've all cut school. It couldn't have been that bad.

Rose: Oh, yes it was.... more