Blanche: "What does one wear to a sperm bank?"
Dorothy: "Something attractive in rubber."
Blanche: "I have that."

Rose: Can I ask a dumb question?
Dorothy: Better than anyone I know.

(to Rose and Blanche)
"I could have been living in a swinging condo instead of with...I better not say anything till I've had my coffee...a slut and a moron! I'm sorry, it must be decaf."

Blanche: I don't really mind Clayton being homosexual, I just don't like him dating men.
Dorothy: You really haven't grasped the concept of this gay thing yet, have you?
Blanche: There must be... more

Blanche:
"Isn't Danny Thomas one?"

Dorothy:
"LESBIAN, Blanche, not LEBANESE."

Sophia: I need the money for my old age.
Dorothy: Old age? You don't leave fingerprints anymore.

Blanche: ....I just don't know what to do.
Rose: Well I'm here if you want to pick my brain.
Dorothy: I think we should leave it alone Rose, and let it heal.

Rose: I found out that Baked Alaska can be baked locally.

Dorothy: Rose, I know something else. Mars Bars are made right here on earth.

Dorothy: Ma, "disdam" is not a word. You made it up.
Sophia: It's a word.
Dorothy: Fine. Use it in a sentence.
Sophia: You're no good at disdam game

Blanche: I've been rejected once.
Dorothy: From who?
Blanche: Weight Watchers... for being too thin.