Sophia singing: "Thaaaaaanks for the medicare!
For Blue-Cross and Blue Shield,
For a hip that finally healed!
... more

Blanche: "What does one wear to a sperm bank?"
Dorothy: "Something attractive in rubber."
Blanche: "I have that."

Blanche: "I have writer's block. It's the WORST feeling in the WORLD!"

Sophia: "Try going 10 days without a bowel movement some time."

Blanche: "You just sit there... more

BLANCHE: There must be homosexuals that date women.

SOPHIA: Yeah, they're called lesbians!

ROSE: Is it possible to love two men at one time?

BLANCHE: I don't know, set the scene. Have we been drinking?

Blanche: I'm going to take a bath with just enough water to cover my firm, yet ample bosom.
Sophia: You're gonna take a bath in an inch of water?

Rose: Can I ask a dumb question?
Dorothy: Better than anyone I know.

Rose: "Let me tell you about a lesson that I learned when I was a little girl in St.Olaf. If you hold a bird gently, the bird will stay. But if you squeeze the bird, his eyes will bug out. ... more

Rose: Did you know they have an egg named after you Blanche?
Blanche: Oh really? How is it prepared?
Sophia: Over easy.

(to Rose and Blanche)
"I could have been living in a swinging condo instead of with...I better not say anything till I've had my coffee...a slut and a moron! I'm sorry, it must be decaf."