Joan: My mother always said, "When love runs out on you, God sends you love's equivalent... or better."
Toni: I thought she said, "When you run out of love's lubricant, use... more

Toni: I'm actually looking forward to the visit. I don't know if it's because I'm pregnant, but I could actually use a little mommy and me time.
Joan: We are still talking about the same Veretta... more

Joan: It looks like he got this stuff from the side of the road.
Lynn: Hey! That's where I got my loveseat!

Everytime I open my house to you three heffers it becomes a soup kitchen

Vegas Baby, Vegas

Sistas we're gonna be doin' it for ourselves!

No disrespect, but I hate you. And when I die alone, i'm going to come back and haunt YOUR FAT ASS

I heard one ho and three clicks... which one of you hoes clicked?

Maya: Unlike YOU, me and my husband have bills.

Lynn: Oh I HAVE bills.

Joan: Sweetie, I think she means actually PAYING them.

Lynn: Oh, well next time be more SPECIFIC.

(Speaking of girly-hips Marcus)
Joan: How can I obsess over him if he's obsessing over me, he's not letting me be the girl.
Maya: Well, he does have big hips, it could be some kind of gender... more