Patient: "I dont like taking my clothes off."
Dr. Lewis: "You'll have to if you want to be examined."
Patient: "Cant you just listen to my stomach? I think somethings like,... more

Mark: "First day of school and youre already making new friends"
Susan: "Oh yea, im a shoe in for homecoming queen!"

Susan: "Can i see your scar?"
Carter: "What?"
Susan: "Show me your scar."
Carter: "No!"
Susan: "Why not?"
Carter: "Why?"
Susan:... more

Carter: "Have fun suturing"
Susan: "Have fun with your rectum!"

SUSAN: "I CAN CHART WHERE EVER I WANT AND I DONT NEED TO LISTEN TO YOUR PORNO PATIENTS FOR KICKS!"

SUSAN: "YOU LIVE IN A MANSION AND YOUR BUYING ME A DONUT!?"
CARTER: "I WAS PAYING FOR THE COFFEE TOO"
SUSAN: "HEY THERE BIG SPENDER!"

I need to go pump before I explode

Susan: You should tell her.
Carter: Who? - Tell her what?
Susan: That your desperately in love with her and can't live a moment without her.
Carter: [Laughs] Really?
Susan: You're hopeless.... more

SUSAN:"ABBY, L.O.L IN 4 HAS DIARRHEA"
ABBY: "OH GOOD! YOU SAID YOU NEEDED A STOOL SAMPLE:
SUSAN: "IF YOU CAN SCRAPE IT OFF THE FLOOR"

SUSAN: "DAMN RIGHT WE'RE CLOSED! AND WE'RE GONNA STAY CLOSED AS LONG AS I'VE GOT CRAP, AND I DON'T MEAN THAT FIGURATIVELY, LITERAL CRAP POURING OUTTA MY CEILING!"