Harold: Hey are you one of those cheese rollers?
Patient: Yeah.
Harold: Sweet!

Morris: After careful review of the tape, I call it a tie.
Garrett: You're going to cut the cheese?

Drew: Don't touch me!
Neela: Try not to move, I'm a doctor. You may have broken your ankle.
Drew: If you're a doctor, I want a second opinion.
Neela: Okay. Doctor Lockhart, would you care to... more

Pratt: It's your last chance to learn something, before you start screwing up your malpractice premium.
Neela: Wanker.
Lester: Turd.
Abby: Dick.

Carter: You bit me!
Abby: You dropped me!
Carter: I cannot believe you bit me!
Abby: I told you to put me down!
Carter: I think I'm bleeding.
Abby: Good!
Bartender: Everything okay out... more

Sam: What is it with Kovac and his “Holier than Thou” healing hands? I’m getting pretty sick of that.
Chuny: Oh, I don’t know. Thos healing hands have their good points...right, Abby?
Sam:... more

[Talking to Dr. Edson about Titanic]



Dr. Carter: You know, Dale, I don't want to ruin it for you, but in the end, the ship sinks.

{An elderly man with multiple organ failure goes into arrest (again). His son just doesn’t want him to die. Mark can’t find his will yet to see if he’s a DNR. This case is taking up all his... more

(On the El platform... Drew was rude to Neela and Abby and then fell)

Drew: If you're a doctor, I want a second opinion.

Neela: OK. (To Abby) Dr. Lockhart, would you care to give a second... more

Liam: My friend thinks you're a MILF.



Friend: Shut up! (hits Liam)



Liam: Ow!



Abby: S'cuse me?



Liam: It's a "Mother I'd Like To..."



Abby: (quickly interrupts) Oh. Well, I'm... more