ER: Get Carter (#10.13)" (2004)
Nurse Samantha Taggart: What is it with Kovac and his holier than thou healing hands? I'm getting pretty sick of that.
Nurse Chuny Marquez: Oh, I don't know.... more

Gallant: Mr Gillman has agreed to .. uh ... electro-ejaculation..
Carter: Come again?
Man: I'm an electro-ejaculation technician
Carter: Your parents must be very proud.

Randi: Weaver's on the warpath. Run for your lives. Save yourselves.

Randi: Weaver's on the warpath. Run for your lives. Save yourselves.

(donald) we got patients who complain about nurses all the time

(romano)yeah but everyone is a vampire

Ray: They tried to save my legs but the crush injuries were too severe. But it could be a lot worse you know, I could be dead. They're going to fit me for prosthetics as soon as the flaps heal. So I... more

Stanley: Larry took a bunch of pills, drank a bottle of gin, slit his wrists, and jumped into Lake Michigan.

Patient: Larry really wanted to die.

Abby Lockhart: Oh man, I uh...

Patient:... more

[Ross is a pediatrician]
Dr. Doug Ross: I'm not a grown-up doctor.

Nurse Lydia Wright: Yes, we know.

Sam: (to patient) SHUT UP!
Dr. Morretti: You see? Every patient's a test. And Sam just got an "A" this time.

Herold Zelinsky: Neela, help me. I'm a virgin...Just go over the relative anatomy...Where exactly is the G-spot?