Patient: I have this hangnail and it's very painful

Mark Greene: I have a brain tumor. It's inoperable

Patient: What?

Mark Greene: I win.

[Mark] What’ve you got?
[Jerry] One Squirrel: DOA.

Mark: What are you think about Doug?

Doug: Carol...I'm in love with her..I mean, I used to think I knew what love was. I cared about a lot of women, I just don't think I've ever really been in... more

Randi: "Dr. Green...it's your father's nurse on the phone again"
Mark: "What does she want?"
Randi: "She says your father is making racial slurs"
Mark: "She's... more

Randi: How'd the personality test go?
Mark: I scored somewhere between serial killer and talk show host.

Mark: Mrs. Raskin. It's been a long time.
Mrs. Raskin: The service isn't what it used to be.
Mark: What seems to be the matter?
Mrs. Raskin: I have this hangnail, and it's very painful.
Mark:... more

Dear ER Gang,
So here I am, out on the beach at 5:30 in the evening. Elizabeth is drinking juice, but I'm all about the mai tais. The sun is going down, Rachel is dipping Ella's toes in the ocean... more

Cameraman: Dr. Carter, our mic will pick you up at normal volume. You can relax and speak naturally.
Carter: Okay.
Greene: Carter wasn't acting. He's really like that.

[Talking to Carter]
Mark: …by the way, I went to medical school with Dr. Benton. He used to get sick all the time. So, don't let him give you any crap. You'll be fine.

Dear ER gang,



So, here I am, out on the beach at 5:30 in the evening. Elizabeth is sitting with me, drinking juice, but I'm all about the Mai Tais. The sun's going down. Rachel is dipping Ella's... more