Boy, I go away for a couple of weeks. You guys got engaged, Chen's pregnant, Malucci's blonde, admin looks totally different and I seem to forget my locker combination.

Dr. John Carter: OK guys, this party is over.

Lucy Knight: Was the music too loud?

Dr. John Carter: No, the furniture was too on fire.

Dr. Kerry Weaver: Mark's gone. That means you've been here longer than any other doctor. People will look to you to step in and fill the void.
Dr. John Carter: Big void.

Patient: It's all ending today! Today is the last day!
Dr. John Carter: Oh, great, I have to work. I'm always working when the world ends.

[Mark has just told Carter that he has an inoperable brain tumor]
Dr. John Carter: Oh, Mark, I'm sorry. What are you gonna do?
Dr. Mark Greene: Die, I guess.

Carol Hathaway: On the twelfth day of Christmas, / my
true love gave to me... uhhh...
[all the other ER docs enter and start singing]

Dr. Doug Ross: 12 tone deaf doctors.

Dr. Mark Greene: 11... more

grab that penis and show it who's boss

Abby and Carter are at Carter's Grandpa's funeral. Abby notices that the birdbath is broken.
Abby: You're going to have some dirty birds.
Carter: Grandpa liked to drive the power lawn mower... more

(Dr. Carter is discussing draining an infected piercing site with a patient, while her drugged friend listens in)
Diana: Don't let them drain you! (Jumps on Carter's back, who spins around and... more

Carter: Do you think he's [Luka] gonna press charges?
Abby: Well, we did kill his fish.
Carter: WE???..