Carlos: "So, can't I get a gardener who isn't trying to sleep with someone in my house?"
Gabrielle: "You pay six bucks an hour. It's all about the perks, honey.

Carlos ~ You know who you are, Gaby? You’re the kind of person who would have turned away Mary and Joseph from the inn.

Gabrielle ~ Well, they should have called ahead.

Carlos - You wanna wash my shorts?

Gabrielle - I don't want to, but if you wear them one more time, they're gonna ask me themselves.

Gabrielle: "You recorded our lovemaking?"

Carlos: "It's all right here, your honor. When she climaxes, she actually starts screaming out dollar amounts.

When a man buys a woman expensive jewelry, there are many things he may want in return. For future reference, conversation ain't one of them.

Carlos: "Hey, here you go, Danny. Oh. Uh, looks like I'm a little short. Can I catch you later?"

Danny: "No."

Carlos: "Okay. Hold on."

He goes over to Edie's... more

Carlos: "Ya, I got dragged to a ballet."

Gabby: "So you are dating. That's why you've been lifting and jogging..."

Carlos: "If you want to bag the big game--bring out... more

Carlos: Why can´t I get a gardener who isn´t trying to sleep with someone in my house?

Gabrielle: Because you pay six bucks an hour, honey. It´s all about the perks

I don't believe you, and I will never trust you again!

When a man buys a woman expensive jewerly, there are many things he may want in return. For future reference, conversation ain´t one of them...