Xiao-Mei: "You are meanest person I know"
Gabrielle: "I am THE meanest person. You've been in this country a year, modify your nouns dammit!"

Mike: Who's Jackson?

MJ: He has sleepovers with mommy and they drink loooots of wiiiine

Gabrielle: You were a virgin?
John: So, it didn't show?
Gabrielle: Uh, no. No, I mean, I guess it was, well, weird when you started naming the American presidents in order.
John: Yeah, I wish you... more

Policeman: Ma'am, this is a restricted area.

Susan: I'd like to trade places with one of the people inside. You do that, don't you?

Policeman: Oh, you mean our hostage exchange program?!

Lynette, do you know what a mid-life crisis is?"  "I have a husband that drives a red convertible..uh, ya, I know

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn... more

Carolyn: Come on, there's never a good reason for hitting a woman.

Bree: I used to think that too... then I met you. Good day.

Carolyn: (to Lynette, after shooting Nora) I believe the phrase you're looking for is "Thank you".

she's way aout of your league dad

hunny he is a multi millionare ! he runs my league

to lynette :

you're going to feel worse than you thought a person could feel! and i'll be holding ur hand ! throw every damn minute