- Mom, Carlos said you were bad in bed. What does that mean?
- Well it means that you're not good at making... your bed. Which isn't true, nobody makes a bed as good as your mommy.
- If you want I... more

Of course I believe in evil -- I work in real estate.

Edie comes back in season 5 and is washing the car

Susan : Edie ? Is that really you?
Edie: I have a husband now
Susan : Really? Who's?

i guess i can ...make some..sacrifices

Susan: you wasted your time, and your donuts.
Edie: not if you choke on them.

I hate Susan Mayer. Everytime I see those big doe eyes of hers, I swear to God I just want to go out and shoot a deer.

When you're out there playing I want everyone to know who your balls belong to!

Edie: "Oh, wait. You're eighteen, right?"
Austin: "Well, that's what my ID says."
Edie: "Yeah, mine too."

I Try So Hard To Like You But You Just Wont Let Me.

Susan: I gotta say, I envy you.
Edie: In the name of God, why?