Gaby: Why are all rich men such jerks?
Carlos: The same reason all beautiful women are bitches.

Carlos ~ You know who you are, Gaby? You’re the kind of person who would have turned away Mary and Joseph from the inn.

Gabrielle ~ Well, they should have called ahead.

Carlos: "So, can't I get a gardener who isn't trying to sleep with someone in my house?"
Gabrielle: "You pay six bucks an hour. It's all about the perks, honey.

Carlos - You wanna wash my shorts?

Gabrielle - I don't want to, but if you wear them one more time, they're gonna ask me themselves.

Gabrielle: "You recorded our lovemaking?"

Carlos: "It's all right here, your honor. When she climaxes, she actually starts screaming out dollar amounts.

I don't believe you, and I will never trust you again!

Gabrielle: "You recorded our lovemaking?"

Carlos: "It's all right here, your honor. When she climaxes, she actually starts screaming out dollar amounts.

Gabrielle: You peed in my shampoo. Admit it!
Carlos: What?
Gabrielle: Yeah, the cap was loose, and I know how your sick mind works.
Carlos: Oh, really? Well, in that case, you should know that if... more

so you want to stay with a man you dont love and have sex with him for money; gee if that was a job what would they call it?

When a man buys a woman expensive jewelry, there are many things he may want in return. For future reference, conversation ain't one of them