(Talking about the day his son Jake was born)

I picked him up to see how cute he was and he pissed all over me!

Don't say what I wanna hear. Shut the f*** up little boy

You cant squeeze blood out of a turnip.

Opies is my forte.

I figured I'd lose everything, my cookies.

I will listen to anything except rap, I dont get it.

Im on a carnival ride in hell right now. - Russell Newberry

Holy shit thats a car?

The only thing more brutal on a man than a couple of days of crab fishing is....a couple of months of crab fishing.

Who asked you to talk?