Rube: Bacchus has drowned many more men than Neptune.
Mason: Bacchus? Wha...?
Rube: He's the Greek god of "Why don't you read a f***ing book?

George: You really care how it's going with me?
Rube: Sure. I make my face look like this and concerned words come out.

Rube: You like spaghetti, George? I like spaghetti. I like board games. I like grabbing a trifecta with that longshot on top. That ozone smell you get from air purifiers. And I like knowing the space... more

George: [after intentionally missing an appointment to reap a soul] I forgot to tell you my last guy didn't show... just thought you'd like to know. What's the soup today?

Rube: Cream of bullshit.

Mason: We're going to play a little Halloween game. Now, I'm going to ask you a question and you're going to answer me. If you get it right, you win a dollar, if you get it wrong, I get all your... more

Mason: It's one o'clock in the fucking morning, what the fucking hell is so fucking important, for fuck's sake?
Rube: Why don't you see if you can use that word one more time?

I'm gonna kill that fucking baby.

Life and death, they have to exist in perfect harmony. Ying Yang, call it what you want but that balance has to be maintained.

George: So, what's next? Onward and upward?
Rube: "Onward", not "upward". No pearly gates for you. No choirs of angels, either.
George: You dick! You're sendin' me to hell?

[Rube lights his pipe in the Happy Time office]

George: You can't smoke in here.

Rube: Ah, fuck that bullshit, they can blow me.