If Romeo had just masturbated a couple of times a week he would have saved both those nice families a heap of trouble.

I gave up on forever, doesn’t last.

George- "Did you go to the gym when you were alive?"

Daisy- "I died in 1938; for exercise we drank Sloe Gin and smoked Lucky Strikes."

Daisy: I once gave Errol Flynn a handjob in a convertible.
George: That's a nice story.

[after Rube asks Daisy to take two post its]

Daisy Adair: NO! And no means no! Powerful isn't it? I learned it at a PSA about date rape!

Roxy: Nice Cross. How'd you get the blood off?

Daisy Adair: Oh easy, soap and water.

Daisy Adair: [after a married couple dies right after their ceremony] They're not going to Bali for their honeymoon, are they?

Mason: No

Daisy Adair: That's really one of the saddest things... more

Stan Samuels: [in a church] Why would God do this to me?

Daisy Adair: Do what? Have you die this way?

Stan Samuels: Have me live this way! God doesn't love all creatures, Daisy.

Daisy Adair:... more

Daisy Adair: You know, George, you have your very own saint.

George: I'd rather have a pony.

[George is standing outside the bathroom in her apartment, waiting, agitated, for Daisy to finish.]:

George: You know Daisy, I have a job, I mean what do you do?

Daisy: [Opens the door in a... more