Jerome Anderson: Well, all the ladies say that The Man is hot. I guess I must have just burned myself and forgot all about it.

(A friend of the dead Sherlock Holmes look alike.)
Brass:"I think you had better drop the accent!"
The friend:"I can't I'm english!"
Brass:"Oh."

JORDAN ROCKWELL: At her place. We had sex.

BRASS: Nice. How did that happen?

ZACK PUTRID: Yeah, but this time, get it on her face, not in her mouth.

SFX GUY: The mouth is part of the face.

ZACK PUTRID: Not you, baby. The shot. The shot's a bitch. I love one-ers. And you know what else I love? I love sushi. Me, too. Do you want to go for sushi?

DICKIE JONES: Howdy. Dickie Jones. And you are?

CATHERINE: Busy.

DICKIE JONES: How about after your shift, I take you out for a cup of coffee? And I could tell you my whole life story.

CATHERINE: No, thanks.

DICKIE JONES: It's just a cup of coffee, doll. I'm... more

Have you ever had the back of those thighs kissed by a man who's standing up?

DICKIE JONES: So you find dwarves funny?

CATHERINE: Sometimes, yeah.

SALLY: What do you look like?

NICK: I have a little Tom Cruise thing going.