It's my lucky day!

Nick:: You know studies have found that pet owners have lower stress levels, you should, you should check that out.

Hodges:: Well, I had a hamster when I was growing up. My mother hated them she... more

Wendy: "You are the dumbest smart guy I know!"
Hodges: "You think I'm smart?"

RONNIE LAKE: I don't get it -- what's the thrill here? It's always hot babes
with huge breasts falling out of their shirts, getting hacked up ...

WENDY: I don't have huge breasts. Mine are kind... more

Hodges: You're like a geeky, nerdy guy trapped in a womans body.

Wendy: So are you.

Catherine: Trace. Is there anything you can't do?
Wendy: (rolls eyes) Hodges.
Hodges: Sorry.

Hodges: Kinda, even at their most absorbent, tampons only hold about 19 grams of fluid or about 20 mililiters.
Wendy: Well, that's enough for aunt flow but that is not going to get an alcoholic... more

GREG: Have any of you guys seen Grissom?
[Henry, Hodges and Wendy turn around and hide the miniature]
HODGES: [they shake their heads no] Some garlic bread? Some wine maybe?
GREG: Kiss my ass. I'd... more

(Referring to evidence on a victim)
...treated hardwood and white ash. Known for its durable bending quality and hardness, not unlike me.

the bad guys will win more if we don't have you