Come on Body Worlds. If you want there to be enough living people left to go to your show; you need to make death less appealing. I suggest a corpse on hold with Time Warner cable.

(Guiness Book of World Records for insults to Mexico) Folks be prepared. These insults will be cheap, heartless and purposeless. Just like Tijuana.

Twitter went down today. If only there was some short, shallow, self-indulgent way to express my horror.

I was on the twitter this weekend and I saw a twittening of the most tragic thing I ever … entwattered.

Cheerios are marketing themselves as a drug... and sadly, many addicts resort to turning Trix... Silly Rabbit

I'm a big fan of me.

I don't like to brag... I love it!!!

Anyway, Ron Howard later. Folks, that is the face of evil.

I float like a butterfly and sting like a bee...and if that fails I curl up like an armadillo.

I’m a big opponent of regulation. I say let the free market decide whether we should genetically modify our corn until it can talk out of its niblets.