Twenty-two astronauts were born in Ohio. What is it about your state that makes people want to flee the earth?

Remember, the best way to get to sleep is a warm glass of milk. Especially if the cow is addicted to narcotics

Parents, do not let your daughters read New Moon, and if they absolutely must date a monster, encourage them to go out with a nice zombie, at least he'll be interested in her for her brains.