Intervention Counselor: Harold, what time did you tell him to be here?
Harold: 5:00. But he's always late.
Rhonda: Oh, he'll be here. In 3, 2, 1...
Tyrone Biggums: [bursts inside room] Is this... more

Tyrone Biggums: Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it.

Tyrone Biggums: Why do you think I carjacked you, Rhonda?
Rhonda: 'Cause the cops found you asleep in it high on crack!
Tyrone Biggums: That's impossible, Rhonda. How can you sleep when you're... more

[speaking to elementary school class]
Tyrone Biggums: Drugs is all around you kids. Look at that magic marker cap. What the hell you think that is, some kind of crayon? Take it off and sniff it and... more

Dave Chappelle: Knock-knock...
Audience: Who's there?
Dave Chappelle: Some skits, biotch.

[Clayton Bigsby's truck pulls up next to a group of white kids listening to rap]
Clayton Bigsby: Hey, niggers! Turn that jungle music down! Woogie boogie, nigger! Woogie boogie!
Hip-Hop Fan: Did... more

Dave Chappelle: It's not HBO. It's regular ass TV.

Tyrone Biggums: You know what dog food tastes like? Do you? It tastes just like it smells... delicious.

Tyrone Biggums: [hands full of money] Crack, here I come.

Black Gallagher: Hope you all like my outfit. The queer guys came by and had an eye for me.