Willow: Tell me a story.

Tara: Okay. Once upon a time, there was, um ... a kitty. She was very little, and she was all alone, and nobody wanted her.

Willow: This is a very upsetting story.

Well, I was wondering if, maybe, you would wanna go out sometime? For coffee... food... kisses and gay love?

Willow Rosenberg: Uh, Angel? If I say something you really don't wanna hear, do you promise not to bite me?
Angel: Are you gonna tell me that I'm jealous?
Willow Rosenberg: Well, you do sometimes... more

Xander: It's a baby. You've got to keep it safe and teach it Christian values.

Willow: My egg is Jewish.

Xander: Then teach it that dreidel song.

Bored now.

Willow: I wish Buffy was here!

Buffy: I'm here!

Willow: I wish I had a million dollars!

[Everyone stares at her]

Willow: Just checking.

She likes cheese. I'm not saying it's the key to her heart, but....

Kennedy: Buffy believes in you.

Willow: You know Buffy, sweet girl - not that bright.

Let me tell you something about Willow; she's a loser, and she always has been. People picked on Willow in Junior High School, High School, up until College. With her stupid mousy ways, and now... more

[The gang is fighting a troll]

Anya: How can I help?

Willow: Uh...distract him from Buffy. Uh, piss him off!

Anya: I don't know how!

Willow: Anya, I have faith in you. There is no one... more