Jessica: I want to be the President of the United States or a waitress.

Dick: That's like saying, I want to be the President or a stripper.

We were high school rivals. She owed me five dollars one time.

I cannot stand her. We're from the same small town. She talked a lot of smack and I wasn't really into that. I just don't know what to expect from Carol... You know girls in high school! They're... more

Less than 3 hours till beer o'clock

You have the asian kid break dancing in the middle...as usual...

I'm so gay for you right now.

The first time I went down the slide, I burned my butt because the slide was so hot.

And we were all like, 'GO BLUE!' 'Cause were the blue team.

CAROL!

then recite the alphabet backwards"

"i cant even do that sober