The world is no longer a romantic place. Some of its people still are however, and therein lies the promise. Don't let the world win, Ally McBeal.

[explaining his remote control toilet flusher]
Sometimes people leave in haste, forget to flush. Other times, there are residual remnants. I like a fresh bowl.

My Johnson!

I'd be happy to take a whack at you...(*stutters*)...it, it. Take a whack at IT!

She makes eyes at me. She's either drawn to me, or I puzzle her. Could be both

John "The Biscuit" Cage: Let's not forget that Lizzie Borden was found innocent of killing her parents.
Richard Fish: Oh, she did it; the jury just took pity on her for being an orphan.

Renée Radick: People think you're strange, you know. Just, just sit there and don't talk.
John "The Biscuit" Cage: I am an enigma.
Renée Radick: You're a cute little enigma.

[about Santa Claus]
A fat man, trying to squeeze through a narrow chimney, and I taunt him with Oreos and whole milk.

[to Nelle] I'd sooner puke my intestines and snorkel in them than see you naked.

I'm not going through an odd phase, I really am odd.