Paul: Hold it, I can see your bra and that sling-shot you're wearing.

Kerry: Must be Casual Sex Day at school.

Bridget: It's a thong.

Paul: It's floss.

Paul: Fine, you can take the mini-van.

Bridget: You want me to drive the Loser Cruiser?

bridget: i'm playing my drums in my all girl band. look at me i look so hot. you wish you were me but you'll never be cause you're not in an all girl band. HA

Kerry: you're an idiot

Paul: Okay Kerry, now it's your turn. Where do you want to go on the vacation?
Kerry: Whatever.
Paul: You know I've always wanted to go there. You talk about it all the time.

Rory: Uh, Dad...

Paul: Not now Rory!

Rory: But it's important!

Paul: I said just a minute!

Rory: [opens front door] Well ok...

Paul: Is that Bridget? Is that Bridget driving my... more

Bridget: There was a guy on the South team, and his name was uh… Stonewall Jackson. And he used his best offensive attacks at his best defensive strategy, and it worked, like, awesome – The... more

Bridget: This is much worse than a real baby. We have to do everything: Change his diaper, feed it...

Kerry: Yeah, a real baby would do everything itself.

Cate: Are you okay?

Paul: I'm mad at something you said.

Cate: What?

Paul: 'Let's start a family'!

Bridget: Mom, are you thinking what I’m thinking?
Cate: That we form an alliance?
Bridget: Or that we team up and not bust each other.
Cate: Yeah, I like your way better.

Kerry: Your oldest daughter has been in the bathroom for, like, an hour.

Paul: An hour? What is she doing in there?

Kerry: Well we can rule out reading.