[Kenneth has a tour group that he is showing around the studio.]Studio 6H is where we do The Girlie Show. Did you all see Tracy Jordan make a special appearance the other night? Wasn't that... more

Jack: This year I'll be a page for a day, and you'll be my boss.
Kenneth: Thank you, sir.
Jack: That's how the "Bottoms-Up" program works. I'm going to be your bottom Kenneth, and I want... more

Ridikulouse: "Your mother is so stupid she thinks grapenuts is an STD."
Kenneth: "Well your mother must not have raised you right becuase you are not saying very nice... more

I don't care what they do to me anymore! I'd rather die famous than to live for a hundred years like this -- carrying plastic bags, sitting on benches, brushing my own teeth!

Well that just makes me perspire.

Tracy: "Ken my boy, wuts the frequency kid"
Kenneth: "Hi Mr. Jordan"
Tracy: "Yo Ken Ima need u to go get me some lunch"
Kenneth: "Sure Mr. Jordan, what would you... more

I have lots of ideas for TV shows. Like a show about a teacher named Art. That's called "Art School". And I have another show about a Jewish man who opens an ice cream parlor. That one's... more

Angie: This boy comes in the door, tries to kiss me, then he throws up and starts crying.
Kenneth: My body wouldn't let me violate the sacred bonds of marriage, sir.

I'm a real good sex person. I do it ALL the different ways!

Tracy: "What did I tell you was the secret to having a good marriage and keeping it together, Kenneth?

Kenneth: "Be a Good listener, be a giver of gifts, and work that va-jay-jay!"