Liz: What made you think I was gay?
Jack: Your shoes.
Liz: Well, I'm straight.
Jack: Those shoes are definitely bi-curious.

Jenna: How's it going?
Liz: Not well. I just want to go home and watch that show about midgets and eat a block of cheddar cheese.

Jenna: "That guy was going to buy you a drink."

Liz: "Really? I already have a drink. You think he'll buy me some mozzarella sticks?"

Jack: "Lemon, where do you invest your money?"

Liz: "I have about 12 grand in checking."

(Pause)

Jack: "Are you an immigrant?"

You are my heroine. And by heroine, I mean "lady hero." I don't mean I want to inject you and listen to jazz.

Jack: Lemon, I’m impressed. You’re beginning to think like a businessman.

Liz: Businesswoman.

Jack: I don’t think that’s a word.

Tracy: Liz Lemon, you are my Alexander Hamilton.

Liz: I don't know what that means.

Liz: People are going to show up expecting all this great stuff and they're going to be disappointed and angry.

Tracy: Just like Colonial Williamsburg.

Liz: It's like he's the Death Star pulling me in using his tractor beam and I'm the Falcon...
Jenna: I wouldn't be really nerdy with him. Guys don't like it when you're always talking about Star... more

Jack: Look at this video of a baby panda sneezing.
Liz Lemon: Oh, it's the *cutest* thing I've ever seen!
Jack: [abruptly interrupts her] I need you to fire 10% of our workforce.