Tracy Jordan: I'm gonna make you a mix tape. You like Phil Collins?
Jack: I've got two ears and a heart, don't I?

''I like when a woman has ambition; it's like seeing a dog wearing clothes"

Kenneth: "Oh I don't vote Republican or Democrat, choosing is a sin, so I always just write in the Lord's name."
Jack: "That's Republican, we count those."

Liz: What made you think I was gay?
Jack: Your shoes.
Liz: Well, I'm straight.
Jack: Those shoes are definitely bi-curious.

Jack: "Lemon, where do you invest your money?"

Liz: "I have about 12 grand in checking."

(Pause)

Jack: "Are you an immigrant?"

A guaranteed disaster - like eating a burrito before sex.

[to Liz] I like you. You have the boldness of a much younger woman.

Jack: Lemon, I’m impressed. You’re beginning to think like a businessman.

Liz: Businesswoman.

Jack: I don’t think that’s a word.

Jack: Look at this video of a baby panda sneezing.
Liz Lemon: Oh, it's the *cutest* thing I've ever seen!
Jack: [abruptly interrupts her] I need you to fire 10% of our workforce.

I have to look perfect when it comes to hair; no one is more bitchy than conservative males. They can be brutal.