I don't have bedbugs, Kenneth. I went to Princeton.

A book hasn't caused this much trouble since Where's Waldo went to that barber pole factory.

I'm an Italian Senator.

Thank you for telling me what I already know. You should work for the Huffington Post.

Liz: "We sure had a good year."
Jack: "What are you talking about? It's May."

Suburban seventh-graders have more sexual experience than you.

I grew up with that guy, he was the baddest gangster in my class. We called him Mean Steve, but his real name was Steven Killer.

-- since Giuliani left it's gotten tougher to harvest hobo organs.

-- since Giuliani left it's gotten tougher to harvest hobo organs.

Liz: What! Why did you do that?
Character: What? You told me to be more proactive.
Liz: No, i said you should use more proactiv, you know for your face.